Friday, January 23, 2009

Walking the Line between sanity and delusion

This is probably one of the most frightening things you will ever see as long as you live.

Joaquin Phoenix, actor/Johnny Cash impersonator is 'quitting acting' to....drumroll please.....BE A RAPPER. yep. The guy from Signs is supposedly hanging up his acting chops and choosing instead to spit rhymes to fat beats.

I'M NOT JOKING. It sounds like some horrible joke- but it GETS WORSE. Not only is Joaquin (birth name: Joaquin Rafael Bottom) going to 'rap', the legendary (*cough*) P Diddy/Puffy/Puff Daddy/Sean "P Diddy" Combs is going to 'teach' him how to rap....which I guess means teach him how to use samples of classic songs and twist them around for chart domination. Seeing as how Puffy hasn't really done anything in a while in terms of a rap career, this is already confusing enough.

BUT WAIT. Remember Ocean's 11,12, and 13? Remember the two guys who were used as decoys, and in the first Ocean's movie were racing those big remote control monster trucks? Well, one of those two goons is Casey Affleck, Ben's brother, and Joaquin's brother-in-law. He apparently has taken it upon himself to film this rap business into a documentary....it's supposedly that important.

So....to recap...Joaquin Phoenix is quitting acting to rap....P Diddy is going to 'teach' him how to rap...and Casey Affleck is going to tape it all for a documentary.

Did your head just explode? Mine almost did when I first read about all this insanity.

Oh, and I SWEAR this isn't a joke in any form. See for yourself: (warning: may cause temporary paralysis of body due to sheer unbelievability of what happens in this video:)













ok. see it? good luck making sense of any of this.

maybe MC Joaquin will be at Coachella this year...THAT would be pretty nuts.

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